Everyone seems to be wanting a pregnancy update and I love that!
I am beyond grateful for all the support and love from you guys, so thank you!
I decided to take a laundry break and update you guys but let me be honest, this blog is a bit vain…
I don’t feel like much has changed to be honest but I know it has…
In our ultrasound, she went from a little bean into this little moving machine. When we saw her last week, she was pushing the ultrasound thing away from her, putting her hands on her face, doing crunches and looked like she was doing leg press. I was in tears the entire time we watched her. It’s beyond incredible to see.
So let’s back track to when McKenzie was a little bean in First trimester, I was lightheaded, dizzy, always feeling like I may faint and BEYOND tired. I only wanted carbs and soda. I started thinking I was a totally different person now because my energy was so low and I ate so bad. I was wondering, who am I? Is this going to be the new me? I don’t like it.. haha
But then…
Second trimester started and I felt GREAT! I was working out with one of my girlfriends and she’s like, “wow, I feel like you’re on a mission today.” And I replied, “I AM! haha I haven’t felt this great in a long time.” There is so much happening in first trimester and we don’t even realize it. The reason I was feeling lightheaded and dizzy was because my veins had grown 40% so I didn’t have enough blood to pump through my veins. This happens with all pregnant women so that is why it is important to listen to your body and drink a ton of water.
I’m not as lightheaded now. THANK GOD! But I still have my moments, if I get up too fast or stand in the same position for too long.
At this point in pregnancy, my cravings aren’t as strong, I can eat meat again, I pee when I sneeze if my bladder is full (which I never thought would happen at 28, dead ass sober on a Friday night) I feel great most of the days and the only downfall is the vain stuff, I have had to let go of. haha My body is getting softer. My abs are slowing fading away, I gave up tanning beds (which is good), I gave up botox and my lip injections. haha People may think this is stupid but this is the stuff I use to do to keep my outer shell feeling good. I knew my body would change. I was ok with that. When I was told, No tanning, botox or lips, I was a little bummed. I can’t even lie!
I had been tanning since I was 18 in tanning beds! But I figured this is good because I can switch to spray tans now, easy and healthier fix. But the botox… man oh man… I have been getting that for the past 2 years now because I smile so big and get crows feet which made me soooo insecure. I have been 6 months clean now… haha and I am actually ok with it. I am learning to love myself as I was meant to be. And same with the lip injections, it has been over a year since I have gotten them done. I miss having big ol’ mrs. potato head lips but I am so filled with bliss and love from creating my little McKenzie, that I don’t even care.
Some may be wondering, Why did I bring any of this stuff up? Who really cares?
And I wanted to touch on this stuff because I feel it is never talked about. We all talk about the beauty in pregnancy and I started thinking something is really wrong with me because I feel like a big ol’ wrinkly sack of tired shit lately. When will I get that beautiful feeling of pregnancy!?
And I know there’s other women struggling with the same even if they don’t want to voice it.
So how do we tap into the feeling of a goddess while being pregnant?!
Well, You create that emotion. You embrace yourself for you. You dive into self love. So I did exactly that and I have never been so happy before. I had to look at this journey for what it truly is… I am creating this precious little girl in my tummy and watching how us as women become a portal of life is so empowering and so beautiful.
How I learned to accept the wrinkles, little lips on the pasty ass white face of mine… ahahahaha
Instead of pointing out all of my flaws, I focused on what I loved about myself. I focused on how incredible pregnancy really is. When you really look at it, it is just insane. YOU HAVE A HUMAN GROWING INSIDE YOU! What gets better than that? It’s damn well not a syringe of botox hahaha There really is nothing as incredible as being pregnant and watching this precious soul grow inside of you. You should focus on loving your body for being able to do that. So for now, focus on the good, let go of the vain and be filled with bliss during such an incredible time.
Here I am at 15.5 weeks. Right now, I am loving sweets and smoothies. I get super tired by 10pm and automatically awake at 5am. I’m not doing any exercises on my back because it is uncomfortable for me. Usually around 20 weeks, they say to stop laying flat on your back while training because your uterus gets heavy and sits on a large vein which can lead to dizziness and fainting. So be careful and always listen to your body!
Here is my video update, if you hate reading haha
